i don’t know what to do. i just don’t want to be here anymore, i’m not coping at all. I’m breaking down every couple of hours & i just can’t take it anymore. My family wont leave me alone, constantly telling me how shit everything that i do is & everything’s just building up & i keep snapping which just gets me into more trouble. i just can’t get away from it, i’m not allowed to go anywhere because apparently leaving the table because i’ve burst into tears is rude & i can’t kill myself either because i’m so afraid that i’ll fail & end up in hospital. my mother blames me crying on hormones & spends ages telling me that she’s been through it & to sort myself out. well, no you fucking haven’t. you haven’t ever been this close to killing yourself & honestly, if i could have got in touch with my boyfriend last night to tell him that i love him & none of this is his fault, i’d have probably gone through with it.
